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Defined as love between two self-identified Ecuadorian people. In fact, without the hyphenated American part, there wouldn’t be this love story. And, in this awareness, I realized how much I resented my mother. I understood my mother a little more that day and myself a little more, too. Today, my mother’s love, my mother’s Ecuadorian love, teaches me that being an Ecuadorian-American woman is anything but typical. As an Ecuadorian-American woman who grew up around non-Ecuadorians I instinctively knew that I might not date or marry someone who also identified as Ecuadorian. My interest in race and his disinterest in it came up. My mother is the perfect Ecuadorian wife and mother. She will sit and listen to you and provide advice ONLY when it is solicited. She looked straight at me and said the following: “I did not teach you those things because I did not want any man to have any excuse to order you around and tell you what to do. Today, I actually enjoy cooking and cleaning for loved ones. Despite what I thought and was taught about Ecuadorian women – my mother – an Ecuadorian woman – disrupted all of that. Gringo hunters are real and they can be very persuasive. Men will respect you for it and women think it’s cute. If you surround yourself with tourists, you’ll be treated like one. Playing the “strong silent” type can be a great angle if you don’t know what anyone is saying.
Unlike American women, don’t expect Latin women to thank you for your chivalry, it’s expected. Many of the Ecuadorians I knew growing up were all family members or very close friends of our family. Thus, the likelihood that I would meet and marry someone Ecuadorian was a little off my radar. And when I met Ecuadorian men, I did think about how comfortable my future would be without having to explain Ecuadorian cultural nuances. The fact that he was darker skinned and I was lighter skinned (I found out he preferred lighter-skinned women and I absolutely despised this about him) caused many arguments. My lack of all things Ecuadorian and his all too knowing about the kind of Ecuadorian woman he desired — we just could not get through. She cooks, cleans, makes sure her home and daughters are neat, and she will always look beautiful doing it. One day, my father and I were talking about how the lack of these skills affected me and my dating prospects. Soon, the conversation turned into a “Mom-you-should-have-taught-us- how- to-do-X-Y-and-Z!!! I don’t want you or any of my daughters to be like me.” In Spanish. But my mother taught me that these things are (or should be) choices. And while there were definite fears of what being an Americana meant — love and independence were aspects of life she wanted for her daughters. I wondered if I was lazy to think this way – thinking that life may be a bit easier to find a partner who is Ecuadorian? The fact that he wanted a “typical Ecuadorian woman” definitely came up. Despite all of these issues, we learned so much from each other. I learned a lot about Ecuadorian history and literature – and we actually enjoyed the disagreements. ” After a couple of those outbursts, my mother looked at us and told us to shut up. It is after all (she said), why she left her country, all that was familiar to her, for the U. Whether or not your love interest is of the same background, relationships take a lot of work – and in my experience, having a similar background didn’t make my relationships any easier. I was really young when I met him and he was much older – but you couldn’t tell me that was going to cook or clean for any man. When you are a hyphenated American, sometimes these cultural nuances often ended at the hyphen. We can play Julio Jaramillo whenever we want to and eat hornado all the time! Because of this he said I wasn’t the “typical” Ecuadorian woman.