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During one part of the service, I was scanning the crowd—and Jake, in his dark suit and preppy glasses, definitely caught my attention.

I figured out that he was a friend of some friends, and I was glad when he sat next to me at the reception.

You don’t have to be among Christian single women very long to hear one common refrain: “We want to be pursued”—followed close on the heels by “Why won’t the guys ask us out?

” As I sifted through the survey data for my book, and started tallying responses by women, this one topic took up so much space, literally, that it demanded a leading position in the book.

They must either lower their standards for a mate so they can settle down now or hold to their faith as they pine for what is becoming an endangered species: Christian men worth waiting for.

In 1991, the average marrying age for women was 24. Although those numbers cover the entire population, evangelical leaders say the trend isn’t much different among young Christians.

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But that's where it all started—in a church sanctuary at a wedding for someone we both knew. Often in the quest towards marriage and finding “the one,” something happens.It’s easy to overlook things that may not seem that big of a deal while dating, but these things could be destructive patterns once married. There’s no reason to settle for unhealthy or harmful relationships, simply to pursue being married.Sitting there in the church basement with friends and family, I enjoyed chatting with this funny, talkative, well-dressed guy.He was charming; even some parents at the table thought he was great.

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